Living with my two boys is always interesting. They are as different as night and day, but that is usually a good thing. My oldest was born with fight in him; charming, loud, a whirling dervish of commotion. My youngest has fire in him too, but it is more internal as evident by the unfortunate streak of stubborn from my side of the family. He is goofy, funny and thinks before he acts (usually). They are diametrically opposed on many things, with me trying to counterbalance the middle ground to keep them from killing each other. Good times.
So it wasn’t a surprise that faith has stepped up to the plate in our balancing act. My youngest is sold out for God, involved in Fellowship for Christian Athletes, serving in a soup kitchen downtown with his small group and developing a little less selfishness in that teenage heart of his. He still argues with me about taking out the trash and rolls his eyes at me, so he is not up for sainthood quite yet. The older one has had a hard road these past few years and is really struggling with the idea of God being a loving father. My firstborn has heart as well, one I suspect is a bit tender and bruised, but it is easier to be angry than hurt at this age. He told me he prayed for change in his life for a long time with no answers, so God can’t exist. I understand the feeling as I have struggled with that as well.
He is going to have to wrestle with God on this one (as I have). I wish I had all the answers for him but I don’t. All I have is faith that gets me out of bed each day and looks for the good, even on the days it seems to be hiding from me. I think belief is so personal and I am not going to force the issue. That never seems to work, now does it? But I do hope that both my boys sow the seeds of belief that will carry them through the hard times that life brings. And as with all things, this struggle will even itself out and something else will come along to play my two ends against the middle.
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Heidi, Great post. Several of my children are questioning organized religion and the existence of God. I am not going to force the issue with them as I know what I believe and what I raised them to believe. However, they are at the age where they question many things in this world and my husband I feel they must decide what they believe for themselves (as we did) and their reasons for questioning are valid ones as far as I’m concerned.
Thanks for sharing this post. ♥
You are a wise mama. I agree that if your faith is to grow deep roots, you need to ask questions and wrestle a bit.
My oldest just asked me to bring him to church tomorrow…do you think he read my blog LOL???
Heidi, I love that he asked for you to bring him to church.I like that he’s arguing with God. At least they are talking! A friend of mine’s son was at a similar place. I was sitting with them at church on a Sunday that she had asked him to join her. Andy spoke about the prodical son. #irony
I hope your younger son stays on his path as well. Sounds like he may see his path at a earlier age than most. Good job with those boys and another great post!
What a great post. I can identify totally! When my boys were in high school I so wanted both of them to be involved in youth group like I was. Alas, it was not to be for the older one. We ended up fighting about him going to it and it was so counterproductive that I ended up letting him not go after weeks of “negotiating” with him. The kids that were in it at that time were just not who he wanted to hang out with and I did understand that I was pushing rather than allowing him to find his own niche. Does he have the relationship with God that I wish he had today? I think he is getting there and it is something that is such a personal thing. A momma can’t do it for him. I think that by “our” examples we teach them and I am sure your example is a good one. Thanks for posting this today–very good!
Thanks Deb. I don’t believe in coincidence but think it might have to do more with God’s grand plan
Thanks Bethann! It seems to be pray, model, hold my breath, repeat with these boys. You are exactly right that we can’t do it for them!