Monday was our first day of school, so Sunday night was spent stuffing backpacks with necessities, signing stacks of forms high enough to rival BP’s denials of guilt, and handing out money for lunch accounts. I smiled smugly to myself as I tucked in freshly washed p.e. clothes for my youngest’s middle school gym adventures. Feeling very self-satisfied, I climbed into bed feeling quite optimistic that for once, I had my crap together. Not so much.
I got called to the front office (ooooo, you’re in trou-ble!) as my friend Dayna informed me the middle school called. I had failed to send in my signed affidavit of residency, so my middle schooler spent his glorious and life-shaping first day sitting in the library(aka the hall of shame) for six hours with the other kids who also had the terrible luck of having absent minded parents. I hustled my butt over with notarized form in hand as soon as I got out of work and profusely apologized to my son. He just smiled and said, “Whatevs, it happens mom”. That’s it?? I was expecting the wrath of God to be unleashed, but was gifted with a whatevs to release me from massive mommy guilt. I love that kid.
This was soon followed by a phone call from the sports medicine trainer informing me that my older son was still complaining of a headache at football and that she was concerned he may have a concussion from a hit two weeks ago. I dutifully had taken him to the doctor for a check-up and got clearance for him to return last week, but she was insistent. I again brought great pride to the mothering profession when I responded, “He hasn’t been to bed before midnight all summer, so he’s tired, and his head hurts probably because he has to think and process things that are not posted on facebook or Youtube. He didn’t complain about a headache all weekend while he was running around with his friends, so I think he is fine….but thanks for calling.” I could imagine her staring at the phone and thinking “nice mom…NOT!” Ugh.
I called my mom feeling defeated that night and requested a pep talk that would keep me from sticking my head in the oven over my multiple parent fails. She asked me if I wanted the truth, that there will be other days like this, or a pretty lie that all is well and no parental speed bumps will trip me up again. I choose the truth. She suggested that maybe I ought to walk the dog tonight…over to Kozmo’s and have a glass of wine before coming back home, or at least taking a warm bath and get everyone to bed. Tomorrow’s a new day and I have to be up early. I have to find my #1 MOM coffee mug,because I am pretty sure someone is coming to take it back and rightly so…
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Tags: advice, affidavits, fail, first day of school, football, kids, mom guilt, parenting
And this is why I love reading your blog! It makes me feel somewhat normal.
Case in point: Apparently, I’ve been dropping my seven-year-old at before school a wee bit earlier than before school begins (hello, it was open at 6:45 am last year!) and the generous Miss Tilla, the school’s CUSTODIAN has been tending to her needs. Um, whoops.
Rest in the fact that I do not have your coffee mug, and I’m pretty sure the lucky lady that is holding it will drop it soon.
Heidi,
You are going to have to do better(worse) than that to loose your mug! If the MD cleared Adam , your explanation sounds completely reasonable to me….
Debbie, I am sure I will have more “opportunities” to achieve greater failures in parenting soon!! Maybe they will replace my #1 mom with #11, I could live with that
Amy, that made me laugh! I think as teachers, we are expected to have it all together, but thanks for making me feel better that I am not alone
What an awesome custodian you have at your daughter’s school btw!
I love what you told the trainer! I will be reading your blog to fondly remember the good ole days.
Hope days 2+ have been better.
[...] first week of school went by in a blink and we made it through relatively unscathed (see We have a winner folks). By Fridays, I am toast and I look forward to not doing too much of anything as I become one [...]
I love reading your blog:) Yeah, that “affidavit of residency” the story about that one piece of paper could go on for a while lots of story to tell about that one..lol
Thanks Carol! Yes, this story will go down in our family history’s hall of shame for years to come!!
Misty, if you are missing the good ole days, I would be glad to loan you a hs sophmore anytime!!