A friend of mine at work pulled me over to her yesterday to ask me a “quick question”. The hair on the back of my neck stood up slightly, not because she is scary, but because of the tone of her voice and the smirk on her face. “Hey I was in Kroger the other night, and I ran into this single dad from football….” she began. What aisle was he on? I don’t remember seeing any endcaps in the store with that advertised and believe me, I have looked, but I digress. She went on to describe him and thought she would test the waters before pursuing this idea further. I laughed and told her sure, I was up for more adventure, so keep me in the loop.
Not an hour later, there was a knock on my door. It was this same friend and she brought another woman with her. She introduced her to me and went on to explain that the friend knew this particular single dad from football as well. And then she turned to her and said, “What do you think???” The two of them looked at me like a science experiment and I was expecting them to check my teeth like you do when buying a horse. I never understood why that was an indicator of a great horse, but maybe good dental hygiene is important to cowboys. Again, I digress..
So I stood there completely mortified, thinking maybe I should have worn the bra that had better engineering and taken the time to put on some lipstick. I kept panicking that they would whip out their cell phone cameras at any point and take a candid shot, so I kept moving around a lot so the picture would be blurry at best. They laughed and told me they would tell him that I was cute, but not mention I have a good personality. That is the death knell of any fix up for a woman. That phrase translates into guyspeak basically as saying, yes, she has three large hairy moles on her face, fifteen cats at home and collects travel spoons from all fifty states, but boy she is fun! I begged out of the conversation, mumbling something about copies that I needed to run, before they embarrassed me further. Who knows if this will actually result in a date, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. I will keep you posted….